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Tantric Yab Yum exercise

Tantra : With both eyes open, and either sitting or standing, press your heart centres firmly together in a deep embrace. Yab/Yum is a great position to adopt because the body's energy centres for the heart and sexual centre are joined simultaneously. Tantra sex skills:  Yab/Yum can also be done with the man's legs stretched straight out or it is even easier if the man sits on a chair and the woman sits on top. While sitting in Yab/Yum, feel your connectedness again. While eye-
gazing you might say to each other something like 'I love you. I enjoyed doing that process and I'd like to do it again sometime.' This is the end of the process.

Tantra exercise could take half an hour but I promise you it will be half an hour well worth the effort, even if you only do it once. If you wish, you can again share how it felt for you. Share feelings only; don't have an intellectual discussion. Or you may wish to enter into lovemaking. You do whatever is appropriate at the time.

If you do this process with a person with whom you are not in a permanent relationship, use the statements:

'What I enjoy about making love is .' and

'What I don't enjoy about making love is .'

This is letting the other person know your boundaries and it will certainly save a lot of mind-reading. It is best to have clear communication from the beginning.

If you burst into laughter during the process, don't worry about it. Your might just laugh at the unusualness of it, but keep doing it anyway. Go into this process with an attitude that you are opening new ways to connect with your partner. Sometimes you will find that your laughter will turn into tears and again that is just a natural way the body frees up energy. Honour all your emotions as they emerge throughout the process. Allowing all of you to be seen is part of being an exciting, emotive human being.

As you become familiar with the process, you can use either the eye contact, breathing or sharing as foreplay before lovemaking, to put you into a deeper connection.

When you first start these processes of intimacy, it might feel awkward, but as you practise it becomes easier and a natural thing to do. On one hand you are afraid to tell the truth about your feelings because you feel it will hurt your partner, but on the other hand your whole relationship suffers if you do not tell the truth. Remember, hiding things from your partner intensifies those negative feelings and fears. Sharing brings negative feelings to the surface and disempowers them. This makes more energy available for your closer bonding. This process of sharing your deep feelings is a great opportunity to expand not only your intimacy and your relationship, but also your ability to go deeper into lovemaking, into letting your sexual ecstasy develop.

Copyright Kerry Riley 2003. Tantra Education Australia